December 2009
69 posts
p.s
years from now you’ll wake up crying and pull all my old letters out from under your bed. You’ll know then what I meant when we were 15 and I told you my words were the very core of my soul. You’ll understand then what I meant when I told you to stop pretending. Everything will make sense to you when my words are the only thing left.
Twenty-one is the drinking age.
That is all I can think about. Text messages are impersonal and I hate them but I can’t throw my phone in the ocean I still have a few more good years to wait for that phone call. Who are we kidding? Please baby tell me. What if I asked my father to tell me who I was because to him I am only a stranger. I’ll put ink into my skin so that I never forget the things that matter. It can rot...
You remind me of my mother.
It honestly makes me sick.
Yesterday I bought new Vans this makes pair number 5 I think I have a problem.
I feel like I should tell you
that I really just can’t do this anymore.
“I really don’t think you realize how adorable it is when you fall asleep...”
– Friends are the rocks we stand on.
Emily Nash.
Yous the man.
Sometimes I feel like,
there isn’t really a point to all of this.
Like maybe you just should take whatever it is you are bitching about not having and leave? Fuck, I don’t know anymore. I wish I could sit down and write like I used to could. I don’t even give a shit anymore if this sounds right replaying in your head. Just listen or don’t. I’ll write it all down anyway, regardless. I...
I used to have dreams about drowning. It is an odd thing to die and wake up alive.
:/
I hate this.
Getoutofmyhead.
tactile:
387, 388, 389.
the numbers go up, time goes on. nothing seems to get any better. the distance between us increases proportionally with the nonreciprocal nostalgia that’s only grown in me for you. but the silence remains.
and things don’t change.
I don’t know who you are or why I’ve never really paid much attention to your blog. I’ve spent the last half hour...
it's funny, kind of.
tactile:
how we both know it so, so well but we choose to ignore it, as if doing so would make the truth disappear.
Who are you?
“I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Because...”
There is peace in rest.
sometimes things happen. things break and we patch them up the best we can. those things are never the same again. they are never good enough again. i know because i can hear it in your voice. you tell me that it is fine but you’re lying.
The past few days
have been a sort of hell that I could not describe to you in any amount of words.
Way to go dad, what were you going to do bring the baby home from the hospital and yell surprise? I don’t need anymore siblings to raise. Understand? I am going to be eighteen years older then this baby and I am sure you’ll just fuck it up like your other four children. STOP HAVING BABIES! STOP LYING TO...
“I am scared though, that it will just keep happening.”
If you wanted to know the truth,
I don’t think that I could tell you. It is moments like these my faults become painfully apparent. I will dote on the way my lips spin out words that make your head dizzy and I will hide how it makes my stomach ache. Mornings like these where I hurl at the very thought of what is next. These days I don’t look so alive, these days I don’t care much about wasting away. After all...
“I have been astonished that men could be martyrs for religion-I have shuddered...”
Note to self. →
My sister: Cat are you licking the table?
My brother: Don't make it stop, it's good for it.
Me: Wtf?
“Well, I started this Sherlock Holmes book. He’s off in his ways. He sees...”
– Emily Nash.
(mademydaywiththistext)
“If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you...”
– (via lipsticksunsets) (via cowgirlblues) (via okaywithmydecay) (via elephantsandlambs) (via floweryandstarry) (via makemeyourpicture) (via alixjay) (via fromheaven)
(via tactile)
Ready set,
fuck you.
Say it. →
I'd give you up before I'd watch you leave.
My chest hurts. These silly mind games are starting to get to me. It’s like a game of Risk and I’m not sure where to put my troops next. This is my white flag, my one regret.
At Tom's
waiting for sam :]
No school today.
I’m going over to my Grandma’s.
Then game night at Toms.
Tomorrow.
School.
Tattoo.
:D
tactile:
it’s never news to me; it’s something i’ve accepted over this long stretch of time in which we could never really decide.
Your words have always mesmerized me, even when I pretended that they didn’t. I just wanted to be different, to see you as a real person or as a real mess instead of this demigod that every other person seemed to view you as. In my attempt to see you as more realistic than what they saw, I think that I talked myself out of believing in you. I’m sorry for that, truly.
I find myself...
liberatinglyso
whoever you are it helps if you’re online.
In a world of complications,
diov:
iamthekeeper:
diov:
iamthekeeper:
diov:
you make things pretty simple. I want to learn because of you. I want to advance because of you. I feel that I can do whatever it is that my heart desires, because of you. I am invincible. I am unstoppable. It is funny, when you get into a mood like that, and you feel that you are part of the sky and no one can touch you. Then, somehow,...
“I’ve read your words. The way in which you string verbs, nouns,...”
– I’d sort of like to know who you are, mostly because I’d love more than anything to have a conversation with you. eh, leave something in my fs with your AIM screen name?
In a world of complications,
diov:
iamthekeeper:
diov:
you make things pretty simple. I want to learn because of you. I want to advance because of you. I feel that I can do whatever it is that my heart desires, because of you. I am invincible. I am unstoppable. It is funny, when you get into a mood like that, and you feel that you are part of the sky and no one can touch you. Then, somehow, someone or something has a...
I miss us being so close.
I’m sure that I miss it too.
In a world of complications,
diov:
you make things pretty simple. I want to learn because of you. I want to advance because of you. I feel that I can do whatever it is that my heart desires, because of you. I am invincible. I am unstoppable. It is funny, when you get into a mood like that, and you feel that you are part of the sky and no one can touch you. Then, somehow, someone or something has a way of bringing you back...
beep →
Do you miss Emily?
Emily Nash?
Hell yes I always miss her. like crazy.
if that is even who you’re talking about.
What do you want out of life?
I suppose that I’ll give the generic answer: to be happy.
I suppose though at the same time I’d like to feel whole more then I’d like to be happy. It was once brought to my attention that there was a difference in being happy and feeling whole. I guess I will change my answer. I would like to feel whole that is what I want from life. I’d like to have someone always be...
Terms of service. →
Honestly, I'm quite confused. What's going on.
I’d answer if I knew who you were. Or what was going on, in fact when you do find out what’s going on please let me know.